Review
Thesis of the book is in the intro.
This book is mostly dealing with the question of how do you feel happy while achieving your financial goals. This book is a mix of pop psychology and basic finance advice. It’d say if you’re looking for financial strategies you’d need another book to accompany this one. It’s firmly self-help and won’t get into capitalist critiques or the insidious nature of marketing.
I’d summarize this book as self-reflect only our mandatory expenses (housing, food, transport), then decide any long term goals (debt payments, home buying, retirement, etc.) Look at the why underpinning your long term goals; you may find them as consistent or the reflection will have you change the long term goals. After those two categories are done think about what kinds of things you find worth spending money on and why. Don’t spend money on things to fit in with others or to be an idealized version of yourself; it won’t work and you’ll be chasing ideals for a long time. Once you have your necessities, long term goals, and values for spending you’ll make a plan on how and where to allocate your money.
Throughout the book we’ll get references to different psychology experiments to support their financial advice and that’s odd. To me it seemed like non-sequiturs and like they didn’t have their own results to use as proof of why their approach works. Also, the book is written in a conversational tone which is alright. However, it’s written in first person so whenever one of the authors brings up a personal anecdote it’s an awkward moment of them specifying who is speaking instead of just using the name in the first place.
This book is aimed at people who have tried changing their finance habits without success or people who are looking for a finance paradigm that incorporates feelings and not just numbers. Based on where I am financially I didn’t find this new information or groundbreaking but it would’ve saved me some trial and error in my early 20s. It ranges anywhere from a 3 - 5 depending on where you are in your finance journey.
Quotes
“People don’t typically see frugality as a fun lifestyle - if anything, it’s the opposite. They see it as a lifestyle of deprivation, exploiting resources, and mooching off people.” (2)
“Most of the traditional finance advice given is for people who already have money. It’s full of math, numbers, and spreadsheets…We're told a budget is the solution to all our money problems, and if you can’t stick to one, it’s not the budget’s fault, it’s your lack of self-control.” (3)
“For me it’s always a betfore, never an after. And no matter how much money I’ve spent to feel good about my body, it’s never been enough. I’ve never been able to buy that love, and neither can you. But it doesn’t stop many of us from trying.” (30)
“I didn’t love my body, and I was spending real money to solve a manufactured problem.” (31)
“The more she was able to tailor her spending and financial goals to what she truly wanted. And the more closely her plan reflected who she was, the more confident she felt about her finances.”
“It can be hard to pause and ask yourself if your spending lines up with what truly interests you, or if you’ve been influenced by what the internet, relationships, or even your horoscope tell you about yourself. Depending on your levels of connection with any of these factors and how deeply rooted your patterns of behavior are, it can be hard to detangle “what’s actually me” from “the fantasized, unrealistic version of me.”” (40)
“Engaging in these steps of creating space, observing objectively, inquiring inquisitively, assessing, and responding will almost certainly train us in the way of a growth mindset. One that is not fixed but gives way to refinement, experiencing the fruit of our efforts, and more realized potential inside ourselves.” (45)
“Earning more and buying less looks at how much we purchase, whereas value-based spending looks at what we purchase. In the real world, we do need all three: earning more, buying less, and making mindful spending decisions.” (51)”
“Your income is your greatest tool for getting the things you need and want from life, but we live in a world that is intentionally designed to compel you to spend it.” (55)
“Companies are not just in the business of manufacturing products; they’re also in the business of manufacturing desire.” (70)
“Over the last one hundred years, capitalism has preserved rapid growth for its shareholders by taking away our identities as people and turning us into consumers.” (71)
“We think it’s important to understand the history of consumerism in America not because we’re anti-capitalism or because we want you to be angry about this systemic deception. But to remind you that many of your desires do not come from within.” (71)
“With so much of our modern desire having been manufactured for us, taking a pause to consider what you truly love is an act of rebellion.” (76)
“Whenever you stop or change directions, there’s going to be friction. A lot of us hate the friction, but without it, it would be impossible to make the shift. Friction is the uncomfortable brush with reality that allows us to go in a different direction. We want our actions to change at the same pace our mind has changed, and we forget that changing direction doesn’t happen instantly. We need to slow down first, and that requires friction.” (84 - 85)
“But perfect doesn’t exist. And even if it did, achieving it is nowhere on our list of internal needs.” (96)
“Instead of stressing yourself out with a hundred things you need to do to save $4 here and $50 there, start with the few actions that can save you the most money, then incorporate the “useful many” at a rate that feels good to you.” (103)
“Sometimes we attach value to being busy. We can feel more important if we’re productive, which can also be tied to a deeply rooted fear of disappointing others or ourselves.” (119)
“Our propensity toward complexity fills our daily lives with thousands of little things to think about…It’s called decision fatigue and when this happen, it leads us to choose the path of least resistance, which usually costs money.” (120)
“When we can find room for making decisions simpler, eliminate unnecessary choices, and decrease complexity, the less likely we are to pop. Instead of choosing complexity that leads to stress spending and burnout, what if we intentionally committed to simplicity?” (121)
“The perks of simplification are endless. At its core, simplifying aims at maximizing the things that are valuable and minimizing the things that are wasteful. When applied to all areas of our lives, we can experience less stress, greater efficiency, and more of what we enjoy.
The trouble is, desire the knowledge of these benefits, we can be drawn to complexity instead. And without systems of maintenance in place, the whole thing can become expensive, complicated, or chaotic.” (121)
“Now when we say simple, we don’t mean plain or boring. We’re not advocating for minimalism or stoicism for the sake of simplicity. We want you to think of simplifying as taking an intentional subtractive approach instead of the automated additive solutions we’re used to.” (122)
“We also want to note that we’re not shedding stuff for the sake of minimalism. We’re not getting rid of clutter because minimalism is some virtue to attain or to acquire this one version of a minimalist aesthetic but because we want peace in our space and minds. And we want our future spending decisions to be informed.” (124)
“I’ve come to recognize that learning always happens in relationships.” (134)
“Our culture highly values independence and self-reliance. Another is because we don’t want to be a burden or “owe someone” later. Asking for help is seen as a power shift that we think another person doesn't want or will take advantage of. But these ways of thinking are costing us money, harm to the environment, and lack of connection.” (135)
“While I don’t think we all need to go live in a commune, we want to emphasize the often - overlooked role community plays in how we spend. And show you how, from book clubs and buy-nothing groups to community gardens and tool libraries, social capital is vital to sustaining a frugal lifestyle.” (136)
“We are saying sometimes we spend in ways that don’t actually get us what we truly want. And when our income is not unlimited, we have to sacrifice some things that we love to keep what we love most. Seeking these alternatives also gives room to try new things and learn about others outside the context of our ingrained habits.” (144)
“When previous friendships have fizzled, moved away, or changed in ways that make relating difficult, it’s okay to let go. When we let go of a friendship, it doesn’t mean the relationship failed or that we’re abandoning people, it’s simply acknowledging cycles and seasons. Not every person we regularly got together with in one season needs to be the person we are currently getting together with routinely. Things change, people shift, seasons come and go, and sometimes relationships we let go of come back around!” (149)
“So, for you, where are you experiencing dissatisfaction with your stuff, status, or situation? What is within your control? What is outside your control?
In what ways is your degree of satisfaction linked to who and what you’re comparing yourself to? Is the standard you use for how well you think you are doing or how great your things are based on your peers? People on the internet? Even your former or previously hoped-for self?” (158)
“When you master your spending, find your enough, and achieve your financial goals, you set yourself up for a more content and satisfied outlook. You are also more equipped to make informed and insightful decisions about your stuff, status, and situation.” (168)
“To us, frugality isn’t just about spending money well, it’s about spending all your resources well: money, time, physical space, natural resources, mental energy, etc. Values-based spending is how we decide to steward our limited resources to make sure that we’re getting the most out of them. We are whole people, and money isn’t always the most important thing to us at any given time. But with values-based spending, managing money well is a similar part of a bigger overarching purpose.” (179)
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